How do you feel?
by Yui-Mag
Summary: A little story on what it was like when the four wolves first joined to create a pack...mainly through Toboe's p.o.v but the other's sneak in from time to time as well.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: These characters aren't my own. I'm just borrowing them. In any case, this is my first Wolf's Rain fanfiction so I'd appreciate any feedback on how to get the characterizations right! Lyrics are from _Sell my Soul_ by Our Lady Peace. Enjoy!!

_How do you feel?_

Toboe scratched at his nose with his front paws as quietly as he could, hiding the whimper that was building deep within his chest. The others were somewhere around here, hunting for themselves. Never mind that they were a pack and it would be easier to hunt together. Never mind all of that. The pack had recently been created, grudgingly, by four males who had grown rather used to hunting alone or simply living off humans. The first time they had tried hunting together in the wild, Toboe had snapped a branch. The small noise had made their presence obvious and the prey had been lost. Another time, Hige's stomach had been growling so loudly that Tsume had just snapped that he would rather hunt on his own. And he'd gone off just like that. Kiba had just watched for a minute or two before heading in the opposite direction. Before he'd realized it, Toboe had found himself stammering alone.

If the others knew, if they ever found out… Toboe closed his eyes. He could already hear what they would say. 'It's what you get for sticking your nose where it doesn't belong, runt.' His mind did such a good impression of Tsume's deep voice that Toboe's tail sank low to the ground. He hadn't meant to be a burden on the others. He sniffled at the ground and winced as the stinging pain gained intensity at the small movement.

He'd only wanted a home. He'd wanted a pack. A family.

'Heh. Human lover.' It was Hige's voice this time that his mind conjured. It wasn't necessarily unkind. Yet, it wasn't kind either. Toboe's head dipped and he turned away from the tree where he'd been trying to capture a rather plump squirrel before he'd gotten stung by a passing wasp.

'…' Kiba's came next, silent. The pup's mind recreated the silent assessing look perfectly along with the right hint of indifference the pack leader had for the youngest member. Sometimes the indifference was worse than Tsume's anger and Hige's teasing. At least with the other two he had some awareness of where he stood with them.

Toboe made his way back to the cave that they'd be staying for the night. He sank wearily to the ground, ready to go another night hungry and not surprised to find that he was the first one back. He closed his eyes. Maybe if he fell asleep now it wouldn't be so painful to watch the others return.

"Hey runt!" Hige came running out of the forest, chubby stomach fuller than usual. At his cheerful bark, Toboe picked up his head off the ground. So much for that plan. "Good hunt?" The older wolf ran over, nudging him on the side with his snout before moving further into the cave. The other one wasn't really expecting an answer. "Got myself a couple of rabbits." He continued, a sated grin exposing canines before he flopped to the ground. Toboe managed to return a small smile as he watched the other roll onto his back, kicking his four legs into the air. Rock dust and dried dirt filled the air around Hige. "Wonder when the others are gonna come back." He yawned then. And the rest of his words became an indistinct mumble and little growls until they turned into snores.

Toboe settled his head on his two front paws once more, ears flicking towards the snores from time to time. He sighed deeply. His nose was a dull throbbing pain now. But maybe it was for the best. He knew his own hunting skills. He doubted he would have been able to catch that squirrel even if he hadn't been stung. At least with the pain, he couldn't even feel the hunger anymore.

The grey wolf of the pack with the deep cross scar on his chest came out from the forest then, taking his time in coming back. His golden eyes flickered from the sleeping Hige to Toboe who lifted his head in greeting. The younger wolf's tail started to wave cheerfully, thumping into the cold stone floor. Tsume snorted and ignored the pup, making his way to the opposite side of the cave. Toboe blinked wide amber eyes at him before the wagging stopped abruptly. What was he thinking? He looked away, missing how the older one looked at him sharply.

_How do you hate?_

Kiba came not too much later and Toboe simply blinked at him. The older wolf sniffed towards him, golden eyes coming to focus on his nose within a single heartbeat. It made Toboe tense, he wasn't sure what to expect from the alpha male. Was he going to comment on the sting? Was he going to ask him something? Or? But Kiba took a step towards him and then, turned away, silent as always. Toboe followed the white wolf with his eyes alone and watched as he gave Tsume a rather long look before settling deeper within in the cave.

The gray wolf simply bared his teeth—just a little—at Kiba before catching Toboe's eye. The pup was looking rather more lost than he usually did. It made him worry for a second or two. And then irritation pushed the other emotion out of him. He had an itch on his shoulder and he scratched at it. It wasn't his job to keep an eye on the pup. He was close enough to adulthood that he could take care of himself. Wasn't he? He turned to look at Toboe again, taking in the lanky and lean body that hinted at the need of growing just a bit more before his body would fit the size of his paws. There were those huge amber eyes that usually sparkled with unabated cheer and well—he had to admit it—puppy-like curiosity for anything he'd never come across before. Right now however, they were staring blankly ahead.

He watched as the pup—runt—whatever—sighed deeply. Anyway, pup or not, Kiba was the leader of this little pack. If he was worried then _he_ should watch over Toboe more closely. Lost in his irritation, it caught him off guard when the russet colored wolf got to his feet and padded out of the cave.

"Where the hell are you going?" He snarled. The pup turned, head ducking and ears flat on his head in a show of submissiveness that surprised Tsume into silence. Had he sounded that menacing?

"I can't sleep." Toboe whined. "And I'm thirsty. There's a lake up ahead…" Tsume could think of nothing to reply to that. And again, irritation within him welled. Why had he bothered to meddle in the first place? The pup could do whatever he damned wanted to do.

"Don't take too long," Hige muttered, sleepily. Tsume's snarl had woken him up. He sniffed at the air wearily. "There's a storm coming in."

"I won't. I promise." And with that, the little one turned away and ran from them.

"Did you have to snap at him?" Hige asked, rolling over to his other side. "Keep pushing the kid like that and one day he'll bite back, you know?" Tsume only growled low from his throat. The chubbier wolf took the hint and simply huffed a little sigh. Kiba's gaze was still resting on Tsume, expectant.

It was ignored.

Kiba stood and made his way out of the cave. "Now where is he going?" Hige muttered but only silence answered his question.

Kiba's second hunt of the night was as fruitful as the first one had been. He grabbed the fat rabbit in his mouth and sniffed the air. He recognized Toboe's scent in the midst of other scents perfuming the air and moved to follow it. In only a couple of minutes, he was at the lake, watching as the youngest of the pack pawed at the water before dipping his nose in it briefly. Kiba let the dead rabbit drop to the ground. "Toboe." At the sound of his name, the pup froze.

"K-kiba! What are you—" The older wolf nudged the food towards him before lifting his head up again.

"Come eat and then show me your nose." He ordered not unkindly. He was disappointed in Tsume for not having done this himself when it was obvious of the pup's attachment to the older one. However, unexplainable the attachment was. Still, he couldn't let one of his pack mates, especially a young one, go hungry and in pain simply because he was disappointed in the other. It would weaken the pack that was not strong as a whole already. He watched the amber eyes widen and then the smaller head ducked in shame.

"How did you know?" The younger wolf asked. "I didn't—" He started weakly, leaving the water's edge to meet up with the pack leader. "I don't mean to be a burden." Kiba nudged him near the ear with his snout and sighed, hoping the small gesture was comforting and not condescending. He was uncomfortable with this whole thing. Being in a pack was as new to him as it was to Toboe. Finding himself leading it was even stranger. He only knew by instinct what to do but sometimes wondered if that would be enough to hold them together. Hige and Tsume had at least both been in a pack, though what had happened to both of their packs remained a mystery to him.

"Just eat." Toboe did as he was told and by the way he ate, Kiba wondered how long the pup had gone without eating. When he was done, Kiba helped him lick off the blood from his fur and mouth making sure to be gentle around the area that had been stung. The pup held back a whimper when his tongue came too close to that area but he growled softly, letting Toboe know that he wasn't to pull back. He licked it clean a couple more time so that he could inspect it better. "The stinger is still in." He stated finally. "It's what's causing it to continue to hurt."

"The water helped." Toboe spoke softly.

"It'll get worse if we don't remove it though. Hold still." The pup did as he was told, wagging his tail gently when the process was over. He even licked Kiba's muzzle in thanks which the older wolf shook off after a minute or two.

"Ne Kiba," Toboe asked as he stepped back into the cool water. He was going to dip his nose in one last time before they returned to the cave. "Can you still smell the lunar flower?"

"Yes." He looked up to the sky. The scent was faint but it was still enough for him to follow it. It was one of the few smells that his nose could pick out better than Hige's.

"I wish I could smell it too…" Toboe muttered, shaking his head to get rid of the water. "It makes me feel better. Like I'm warm inside and loved." Kiba wasn't sure whether he was supposed to have heard the last bit as the pup had whispered it. Never the less, he'd heard it and understood the sentiment.

And as they made their way back to the cave together, Kiba wondered whether he should have told Toboe that he wasn't the burden he thought he was and that this solo hunting was coming to an end as of tonight. It had been a silly thing to allow in the first place.

What kind of pack let its members hunt alone anyway?

It was a first when Toboe lay beside him that night rather than Tsume. Kiba allowed it, falling asleep almost immediately with the added warmth on his side while Hige warmed the other. It made Hige's nose twitch as he smelled Tsume's slight confusion mixed with relief and irritation all at once. But he knew better than to comment on any of it. Maybe tomorrow would bring some answers…

To be continued! (If people are interested that is…)


	2. Chapter 2

Author's Note: Sorry for the delay in posting new chappies. I'll try and do better and wrap this up but sadly I can't promise anything. School is taking over my life!!! O.o… Hope you still enjoy this!

_How do you wake up with_

_That smile on your face?_

Tsume was the first to wake this time, beating even Kiba at greeting the shining sun overhead. The little fact did little to quell the growing irritation that was burning deep within his chest. He didn't know the origin of the irritation and huffed a sigh.

He glanced at the rest of his "pack", watching the huddled bodies that were breathing almost as one. Toboe shivered and unconsciously buried his young face in Kiba's shoulder. It was a move that he'd felt more often then observed. The pup…the pup did look young when he did that. Close to adorable even.

He turned his back on them. It was a waste of time to wait for them when he could be hunting. He sniffed the morning air, taking in the slightly chilled quality and shook himself one last time before he left the cave's opening. There were squirrels twittering up ahead and he glared at them. He made his way deeper into the forest and wished half-heartedly that his thoughts would quiet down so he could concentrate. There were rabbits, squirrels, and birds that he could catch if he was careful… though the taste of squirrels usually left him with a horribly bitter nutty taste that he could do without.

It was better this way. His mind yammered away. Better to have the pup hanging around Kiba and have him greet their leader with that obnoxious smile of his every morning than have him underpaw. He growled softly at himself. The irritation was growing, like a fly that kept buzzing in one's face and ears. Only it was worse than that. With a fly one was still able to snap and bite at it until it either was killed or it flew away to bug some other poor soul.

But how to bite and kill something from within?

Perhaps Kiba was right. His eyes darkened and he snorted. Perhaps living with humans the way he had, had weakened him. His thoughts were strange and loud and annoying. The hunt, he could already tell, would end poorly.

_Out on the moon_

Toboe woke up as the feeling of warmth moved and slowly but surely left his side. He moaned still half-asleep, wishing that morning hadn't come quite so soon. He wanted to sleep in for a bit longer. Just a bit longer. But as soon as the internal wish formed within him, he mentally pushed it aside. Tsume would be angry with him if he didn't wake up soon. Would be angry at him for delaying them. He didn't want the other wolf to be angry with him.

He carefully opened one eye and then the next before blinking both of them sleepily. He tried giving a smile, his tongue coming to lick at his own nose and winced at the sharp pain that caused. The pain dulled quickly but it was a reminder of what had happened. It was because of this that made him realize later than he should have that Tsume was not the face that was watching him. Kiba's was. He blinked at the white wolf and bit back the short yelp of surprise that wanted to escape from his mouth.

"Let me…" The older wolf started. Toboe held still, head sinking to the ground. He was unsure as to what the other wanted exactly. Next to him, Hige's snore continued. The chubby wolf was of no help. Truly. A rough, hot tongue wiped at his nose a couple of times before a white snout nudged his behind the ear. "The swelling is down." Kiba's voice stated. "Are you hungry?" The golden eyes calmly took in the sudden tail waving and happy pants coming from the little one. It was surprising how little it took to get rid of the darkness in Toboe's eyes.

Just a little attention.

Just a little care.

It was something to note and take into consideration.

It was also more than a little perplexing at realizing that his exasperation at finding Tsume gone was slowly being pushed away. Pups. He blinked at Toboe who still hadn't answered him and glanced towards Hige. He nudged the other wolf who growled in his sleep. Hige's temper could rival Tsume's on two matters only: lack of food and lack of sleep. Still his growl was worse than his bite unlike the grey wolf whose growl was a positive correlation of how nasty his bite exactly was. He bit off a sigh and blew air in Hige's ear. It twitched like mad before Hige rolled away, blinking at him.

"Whaddya want?" He barked sleepily making Toboe chuckle behind a paw, tail still wagging. He wondered how long that would last. Probably just until the pup realized Tsume's disappearance. He wasn't worried about the older wolf. Kiba was sure that he would soon return, stomach a little fuller than before. It wasn't unusual per se.

"To hunt." Kiba answered. "As a pack."

_If I was an astronaut_

_Could I get back to you?_

To be continued…


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